Stage WSPA

Here's an important insight into sea mammals, brought to you by WSPA, the World Society for the Protection of Animals:



There is no humane way to kill a whale at sea, but WSPA offers the following alternatives:

• Humanely hatchet the buggers when they leap out of the water, as they're wont to do.
  
  
• The whalefighter events at nadarridas worldwide are humane, since the arenas are not actually the sea. Even the picadors are okay.
  
  
• If you want to humanely kill a whale, lure it to a hotel bar in Fresno, buy it a few drinks, and escort it to a room. It's also particularly humane if you're just after tasty whale kidney to excise said kidney and leave the whale in the bathtub with a note to call 911 written on the mirror in lipstick.
  
  
• Dynamite fishing is humane as long as it only nets you tuna, dolphins, octopi, and other non-whale denizens of the deep.

Granted, the flash slides in this particular presentation don't say that, but I recognize that WSPA's ad budget is limited.